Former English leader Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the condition.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and hesitating to really process that at the present time," he stated.
"It isn't that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a hesitation to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present health, his family and planning ahead for when the condition progresses.
"Perhaps that's surprise or perhaps I deal with matters differently, and once I have the information, it's easier," he added.
Early Indications
Moody learned he had MND after observing some reduced power in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After rehabilitation didn't help the problem, a set of scans indicated nerve cells in his neurological system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're rightly quite emotional about it, but it's so strange because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't feel ill. I don't sense unwell
"The signs I have are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I remain capable of performing all activities. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Condition Advancement
MND can develop swiftly.
According to the charity MND Association, the disease kills a one-third of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of detection, as eating and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard decline.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," stated an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Effect
Talking from the residence with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he mentioned breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody said.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in crying, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and began cleaning the tears off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody said the focus was remaining in the now.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just embracing and appreciating everything now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly fortunate that the primary choice I made when I left playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as feasible. We don't get those times back."
Athlete Association
Top-level competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with studies proposing the incidence of the condition is up to six times greater than in the wider community.
It is considered that by reducing the oxygen available and producing harm to nerve cells, regular, strenuous exercise can initiate the disease in those previously genetically susceptible.
Sports Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his fearless, relentless method to the game.
He competed through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once initiated a practice scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a training equipment and began throwing himself into physical contacts.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the critical moment of play, setting a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the victory-securing field goal.
Assistance System
Moody has earlier informed Johnson, who led England to that title, and a couple of other previous colleagues about his medical situation, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the moment, just having that kind of care and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he said.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to consider your passion your vocation, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Achieving this for so considerable a duration with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will want to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
